So I LOVE reading everyone's Blog but for some odd reason I just cannot find the time to blog every day or even every few days? Help people. Here is an update on some things with the kids. This blog is mainly about them, but I guess just my life in general. Bear with me because I guess I am still figuring it out.
Valentines and my birthday just passed. sigh....and I really just sighed aloud. I joked with Jarrod that I had always said I wanted to be married when I was 25. I just turned 26. What's stopping us? I guess I am still undecided on the BIG wedding or just getting a marriage license. I feel like a ton of money for a dress and even a small wedding of a few thousand just would be irresponsible on our part because of the kids. We just booked a cruise for April 3 and I was thinking we should just do it before that and that would be our "honeymoon". I just figure out if I will look back wanting that wedding like some of my friends and family have had or if I truly don't mind not having that like I keep telling myself.
Okay back to the kids. Things have been pretty....quiet with their mother and Jarrod for the most part. A few bumps and Jarrod and I are really starting to try and focus on what to do to make the kids understand that we love them and are here for them no matter where they live. Vallery and Avery and Brooke....well and Chelsea, Okay ALL the kids always come over saying they want to live with us. I am actually starting to think its because they see that actually makes us happy. Vallery and Avery are 12 and 10 so the court says at 12 the child can technically decide. But as you may have guessed it isn't just as easy as that. You still have to file a petition. The child has to write a letter and the judge has to approve it. I have figured out with some help how to file the petition and have it served and all of that, but I am not sure when the time comes for the court date if you still need a lawyer. Any lawyer Jarrod and I have spoke to want at least 2500 up front and 300 per hour and they say "could be 2 hours could be 200". Another thing is we don't know how 100% any of the kids are, how capable is a child of making that decision? I compare their situation a lot to mine, growing up my mother really never was there for me. And I know she isn't there for them either. Still having said that I still love my mom and no matter how many mistakes she has made and continues to make, I will always want her in my life. I guess the same goes for the kids, even though they (as young as 6 and 7) see their mom do things or NOT do things.....they still love her and want to be around her. They don't want to have to choose and I really believe they should never have had to.
If you have kids....don't get a divorce and STOP parenting together. What would really help is if Jarrod and his ex could sit down, like adults and actually make a plan to get their children some counseling in place. Stop all the back and forth negativity and both be able to have normal lives and happy kids. Robin would never show for such an appt....she never even showed for Vallery's Special ED evaluations when Val lived with us.The kids are constantly making comments of what their mom has said about Jarrod or me.... Chelsea: "my mom said these hair ties break my hair...she doesn't like them" These are the small plastic hair ties that I use for the small braids in the girls hair. Avery once told me "I think my mom really must hate you" Sure I sometime sigh and make a face when the girls come over in the jeans that are size 10, when they wear size 6 and ask "why did your mom put you in these?Or when we picked them up on the coldest day in December in shorts and NO jackets. But I never talk about her or call her names, She has called me every name in the book......and how? When she knows how much I love the kids and I care for them. It is insane that she cannot just accept the fact that her kids love me and they love her too.
On a happy note: We get the kids on Friday and the weekend before last they made Valentines that I printed off the computer and I got all the girls some more Valentiney stuff today...yay for the day after Clearance.
The next weekend we get them after this weekend will be Chelsea and Brooke's 7th Birthday...we have BIG plans and goodies and already filling my secret hiding place.....
<3
